“Just like my daddy used to say
He used to say soulshine,
It’s better than sunshine,
It’s better than moonshine,
Darn sure better than rain.”
Thank you, Allman Brothers
As of late, my life has seemingly been absolutely ALL over the place. Just an utter mess…A fun mess…but a mess, none the less. A brand new life in Nashville, TN, new opportunities that will allow for a 20 year old dream to begin the process of coming true, wonderful new friends that God so carefully put in my life, a new job with twice the hours that I’ve ever had to work, and quiet honestly, the freshest breath of air I’ve had since the first one that ever filled my lungs. But, business and fatigue are also starting to set in. And I feel like all of this “newness” is becoming stressful instead of exhilarating. I feel as if I must be in perpetual motion…and the direction that this perpetual motion is moving me in sometimes seems to be not only the wrong direction, but on a completely different highway than the one that my dream is waiting for me on. It’s tiring, obviously, but it’s mostly discouraging…especially when your personal dreams and passions seem to scoot to the back burner as soon as life decides to come around. And, I, as an individual, have always been HIGHLY susceptible to the wiles of a preoccupied life and the paralytic nature of discouragement. So for the past few weeks my ups have been downs, my ins, outs, and my song has become a 9 to 5 work day.
Wow…That all just sounds like a bunch of unfortunate marlarky, doesn’t it? lol
But on the other hand (and on the topic that I am actually writing about tonight)…There is a rather incredible God and Savior who hates to see me in pain…but loves to heal my broken and mangled spirit. An incredible God and Savior who hates to hear me cry…but loves to hear the song in my heart (no matter how dim it may be). An incredible God and Savior who hates to see me fall…but loves to swoop me up into his big, warm arms and rock me off to sleep. And an incredible God who hates sin…but loves the sinner.
Who am I to accept the life that I’ve been given to live, the breath that’s surrounding me to breathe, the people I’ve been given to cherish, and the music that I’ve been given to create with out a gracious and awe-stricken heart? Who am I to sit down at the end of a long, hard day without a tear on my cheek because I just couldn’t contain my joy? I got to live that long, hard day, right? And, who am I to exist as this human being that God created and not believe in the dreams that he was dreaming when he made me?
Through these past few weeks I’ve done a lot of introspecting (obviously), a little bit of retrospecting, and a lot of extrospecting. Through my extrospection (man I feel smart using that word)…God has taken me through yet another rather complicated chapter of my young life. He has taught me irreplaceable lessons about his undying and unfailing power and love, and he has calmed the storms that have been drowning out the sound of the music I so desperately love.
What a blessing to be a child of The Most High God:)
That is all.